In any which way but loose
by watawatwat
Summary: Your name is John Egbert and you're and Sburb survivor. It's been over two years now since the game ended but still there are nights where you wake gasping for air with sweaty sheets and skin that could put ghosts to shame. You tend to push these dreams aside though and pretend they don't exist as you're sure all three of your other friends do.


i dont own homestuck? or clint eastwood?  
yeah

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Your name is John Egbert and you're and Sburb survivor. It's been over two years now since the game ended but still there are nights where you wake gasping for air with sweaty sheets and skin that could put ghosts to shame. You tend to push these dreams aside though and pretend they don't exist as you're sure all three of your other friends do.

Your name is John Egbert and it has been over nine months since you have physically seen either of your closest friends. Your dad has been knocked back quite a bit after the session had ended, he says that the memories are far too vivid to not be true but he's sure that that is because you explain everything so clearly. Nine months ago you managed to convince him that Dave Strider was not an internet "creeper" as your dad had so cringingly put it and he booked the cheapest ticket he could find. He told you you were going to be flying on your own leaving you a little pissed off when he boarded the plane with you and tried to pull it off as some sort of prank. He stayed the weekend too, going to far as to took you into bed and giving you a cheeky little peck on the head before you went to sleep. You and Dave had been sharing a bed. You remember greeting him with the dorkiest fucking grin and the biggest bro hug to have ever happened in history and somewhat to your surprised he returned the hug before ushering you into the house which to no doubt was full to the brim with smuppets and swords stored in questionably odd places. You were surprised your dad didn't grab your hand on the first night and throw you out of the window and onto the closest passing plane when a whole cupboard full of swords had landed within millimeters of your toes when you had been looking for a glass causing for you to jump back a foot and squeal like a thirteen year old girl on omegle.

Dad never agreed to taking you back, though. He said it was something to do with the lack of presence Dave's older brother served and he for some reason tried to blame it on Dave's fowl language. You thought this was stupid considering you were both technically adults and even you let out the occasional F-bomb when you received a cake to the face first thing on a morning all thanks so le perre.

"But daaaaaad." You drawl, pushing your palms against the back of his chair. "It's been, like, two whole years and you're always complaining about how much time I spend talking to him on pesterchum anyways."

"Ten months." He corrects, ignoring you and turning over another page of his news paper.

So far it's taken you over a month longer to convince him that this is a good idea than it had done last time which probably either means he's going to crack any minute or he's never going to give in. You guess you've always appreciated your dad for being such a hard shelled man.

"But daaaaaaaaaaaaaad. I don't even have any friends over here and I get bored and lonely. Do you not want me to have any friends dad? Is that what this is? Wow, horrid."

"Son" He says "You know just as well as I do that I think you're a wonderful young man capable of making friends in whatever situation he is in. What about school? There's a world full of people, Jonathan."

You cringe at whatever that was he just called you and shake your head. "You all ready know that everyone at school hates me and thinks I'm a weirdo with stupid teeth and a stupid face."

Your dad sighs at the explanation sympathetically. He's tried several times to get you out of that school but everytime they say that unless the bullying is physical and there is evidence there is nothing anyone can do about it.

"What about your other friends? Violet and Janet?"

"Rose and Jade" You correct "And Rose says she's keeping an eye out on flights to here. She doesn't want me in the house with her Mom. She says she's embarrassed or something dumb, though I think being in the hourse with a drunk lady makes for the perfect opportunity to try out some sick new pranks."

"What about Jade?"

"Well, I don't know the name of her Island and she doesn't either, so unless one day some dude in a boat sails up and shouts "Lady get on board we're going to Washington" I don't think there's any chance of me ever getting to see her properly again."

There's a pause beore you quickly add in "And they're girls."

This seems to make all the difference because your Dad nods and says "We'll see" and now you can't wait for your Birthday. Your dad is so predicable like that.

- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 13:01 -

EB: dave guess what.

EB: guess

EB: dave

EB: wow, why are you ignoring me?

EB: guessss!

TG: dude chill im here

TG: its been like ten minutes

TG: but ill play your little game

TG: after nineteen years your balls finally dropped

EB: dude no, that happened like ten years ago.

TG: yeah and my bro still doesnt try to pass of his piss as apple juice

EB: shut up! just guess!

TG: cut me some slack i only just woke up and my heads pounding

TG: bro was up until four pissing around with his dumb puppets

TG: do you know how much that shit can scar you

TG: do you?

EB: geez, fine! i'll tell you dumbass! i think

EB: my dad

EB: might be...

EB: ...

TG: ...

EB: ...

TG: ...

EB: ...

TG: pregnant?

EB: grosssss!

EB: i think he might be getting me tickets to come see you for my birthday

TG: whoa really

TG: thats awesome but why you gotta hit me with this shit so early in the morning

TG: cant a dude wake up before you tell him the best thing hes heard in nearly a year

EB: dave, it's like... two in the afternoon.

TG: shit better put some clothes on

- turntechGodhead [TG] has ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -

Despite it not being news to you, the thought of Dave sleeping entirely clothless still makes you cringe a little but even so you can't seem to get rid of this stupid grin on your face. The realization your birthday is under a month away suddenly hits you and you're on your knees cramming an array of dumb movie shirts, shorts and pajamas into your barely used suit case. You know you shouldn't be this excited. What if your dad has all ready bought you some of those movie posters or maybe even the scooter you asked for? Your grin grows larger still when Dad knocks at your door to ask you whether you're legally classed as an adult.

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i all ready have the next two chapters so i don't think there'll be any problem there

thank you for reading


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